Today, the Foolish Scum Gong Screwed Me Over Again 1

Chapter 1

"Qiu Yanzhi?"

Liu Cheng chuckled as he swirled his flute of champagne. "His appearance might be appealing, but he’s a real bitch."

"What makes you say that?" A man came up and asked curiously.

"The legitimate little master of the Qiu family was willing to throw away not only his dignity, but also his life over a man.” Liu Cheng folded his long legs and leaned back in his chair. "Do you know what’s even more pathetic? That man doesn't even like him back."

"How do you know?"

"I saw it with my own eyes."

The first time Liu Cheng met Qiu Yanzhi was at a birthday celebration.

Liu Cheng went with his ‘boyfriend’ at the time, but as soon as he entered the villa, his attention was captured by Qiu Yanzhi, the most eye-catching person in the crowd.

It wasn’t a formal occasion. There were all sorts of people present in the smoke-clogged room.

There were many people on the sofa, including a variety of celebrity influencers and second generations hugging beauties.

Liu Cheng belonged to the former crowd.

Qiu Yanzhi was an anomaly. His looks were the best, but his eyes were the purest. With his white sweater, he looked like a high school student who entered the entertainment district by mistake.

The second generations chatting with him were all refraining from dirty innuendos as well.

One glance was enough to tell that he was a little master born with a silver spoon in his mouth. The kind that was innocent and sheltered.

He was someone completely out of a dirty mutt like Liu Cheng’s league.

Little Master Qiu was leaning on the sofa with a bored expression. He listlessly replied to the words of those second generations, but his eyes wandered around looking for something.

Qiu Yanzhi’s eyes lit up when He Zhou walked in.

Qiu Yanzhi was very simple-minded, so his attraction was completely on display. His eyes were glued to that person.

Liu Cheng could see it at a glance.

Obviously, others could as well.

In the evening, Liu Cheng went out to sober up and happened to see He Zhou and Qiu Yanzhi standing on the beach.

He Zhou put his hands in his pocket and looked at Qiu Yanzhi who was in front of him. His lips were curled up and his tone was frivolous: "You...like me?"

Qiu Yanzhi was stunned for a moment. He didn’t seem to expect He Zhou to be so straightforward. His face suddenly turned red as he stammered: “...Ye-yeah. I do.”

He Zhou leaned over and whispered something in Qiu Yanzhi's ear.

Liu Cheng could not hear him clearly, but he could see Qiu Yanzhi's face drain of colour.

He Zhou straightened up with an expression that was not a smile. He turned to leave.

"I can... I- I can do it." Qiu Yanzhi suddenly said.

Then his thin white fingers trembled as he began to undress.

At that time, Liu Cheng wanted to applaud the ability of these two to play. They seemed willing to get it on right there on the beach.

But Qiu Yanzhi turned towards the sea when he was down to just his underwear.

It was getting colder then, and the sea that was as dark as night was enough to make people shiver just looking at it. But Qiu Yanzhi didn’t even look back once as he slowly entered the sea and disappeared.

By the shoreline, He Zhou stood there and smoked a cigarette. He left when it was finished.

Liu Cheng could still clearly remember the moment he turned around.

There was an obvious sneer on that person’s face.

"Did Qiu Yanzhi die later?"

The speaker was quickly jabbed on the arm: "Are you stupid? Didn't Yuxin finance and economics do a report on him yesterday..."

Liu Cheng continued: "He was rescued later. I heard that he had a 40 degree fever for three days and three nights… Pah. Serves him right."

Liu Cheng beckoned to the bartender at the bar and asked for a refill. His smile was ambiguous: "One time afterwards I happened to speak with Qiu Yanzhi. I mentioned this incident. I asked him if he would’ve jumped from a building if He Zhou had asked him to. Guess what Qiu Yanzhi’s response was."

"What was it?"

“He asked me ‘what floor’ with a serious expression. Then he said that he wouldn’t do it if it was too high because he would die."

"Damn… I don't even know what to say to that."

“...Pah. So it’s okay if he ends up disabled, as long as he doesn’t die?"

"What did the Qiu family do to be saddled with such a lovesick fool?"

“...He’s such a bitch."

"He’s no ordinary bitch, he’s legit mentally handicapped."

……

No one saw a man with a black cap silently retreat from the crowd.

He pressed the hem of his cap down and muttered stiffly:

“…They’re the ones who’re mentally handicapped. Can't they tell that I was joking?"

The man turned his head and looked at Liu Cheng as if something just occurred to him. He said gloomily, "If I knew this guy’s mouth was so loose, I wouldn’t have..."

Before he finished speaking, he saw his friend slam his glass down on the table with clenched fists as he waded through the crowd towards Liu Cheng.

Qiu Yanzhi saw the situation wasn’t looking good, so he hurried to stop his friend. "Zhang Yuxuan! What are you trying to do?!"

Zhang Yuxuan clenched his fist and said angrily, "Yanzhi! Those people are too despicable! Laoniang is going to rip them a new one!" (1)

Qiu Yanzhi hugged Zhang Yuxuan's muscular arm and dragged him towards the bar’s exit: "Don't be impulsive! Don't be impulsive! Let's go out and talk! Outside! Don't move! You look like shit. Didn’t I tell you to wear pants underneath skirts to be safe?!”

"Laoniang is so pissed off!! Who do they think they are?! Spreading those outrageous rumours?! I won’t stand for it!! Yanyan you have to clear your name!"

Qiu Yanzhi was silent for a long time.

Then he mumbled with a dry mouth:

“…What is there to clear up?"

Zhang Yuxuan was so incensed his face was flushed: "Everything of course! Look at what that bastard Liu Cheng’s made you out to be?! You are not that kind of shameless man Yanyan!!!”

Qiu Yanzhi: "..."

Qiu Yanzhi scratched at the back of his head and said cautiously, "Um, actually, not everything they’re saying is a lie..."

"What?!"

Qiu Yanzhi licked his lips and carefully considered his next sentence.

"I did go into the sea, but I had a very good reason to do so..."

Zhang Yuxuan slowly breathed a sigh of relief.

That’s good.

As long as he wasn’t as pitiful and miserable as the rumour made him out to be.

“What’s the reason? You must have fallen in by accident..."

Qiu Yanzhi shook his head.

"Then… Were you thrown in?! That motherfucker He Zhou is too heartless! How could he do such a thing, ah!”

"It’s not that. He Zhou asked me if I liked him, so I nodded. Then He Zhou said that if I went into the sea that he would be with me.”

Zhang Yuxuan: “...And, and then?”

Qiu Yanzhi threw a chocolate bean into his mouth and shrugged: "I agreed, of course! How could I say no to someone that good-looking?"

Zhang Yuxuan blanked out for a moment before slapping Yanzhi on the back. He roared through clenched teeth, "Are you crazy?!! You actually jumped into the sea?! What were you thinking?!"

Yanzhi cried out in pain: "Watch it Zhang Yuxuan! You know how strong you are! What if laozi gets killed by you!!! Laozi did it for love!!! Love!! Do you understand?! No!! Because you’re a single bitch!!”

"It's better to be a single bitch than a lap dog!"

"What's wrong with lap dogs?! I’m happy, no, ecstatic to lick people on the face! I’m nothing like you! You can’t even confess to the senior you’ve crushed over for 20 years! Coward!!!”

Zhang Yuxuan withered at the mention of his senior.

He found a step and sat down despondently on the ground.

He drew circles with his head cast down.

Qiu Yanzhi found a piece of paper to pad the step before taking a seat next to him: “Yu Baobao, don’t sit with your legs apart when wearing a skirt. Or are you so eager to share your Patrick Star underwear with the world?” (2)

Zhang Yuxuan quickly closed his legs: "Wow that was a close call. Laoniang almost blew my cover."

Yanzhi stared at Zhang Yuxuan's 1.93-meter tall figure, muscular arms, five-o'clock shadow and crooked wig. He sighed.

Did Yu Baobao really think that anyone could ever mistake him for a woman?

Sigh.

What was he to do with this simple-minded kid of his?

You’re really making things difficult for your dad.

"My senior is about to return to the country." Zhang Yuxuan lowered his head and murmured.

Qiu Yanzhi raised his eyebrows, "So when are you planning to confess?"

Zhang Yuxuan buried his head even more, "I can’t."

"There's nothing to be afraid of."

Zhang Yuxuan pursed his lips: "...I'm ugly."

Qiu Yanzhi patted his shoulder and comforted him, "Although you are ugly on the outside, your heart is beautiful."

"My brain..."

"Although you are stupid, you have a good temper."

"I don’t..."

"You have no culture, but you have money, ah."

"But my senior wouldn’t like it..."

"Don't be discouraged, ah. Who knows? Maybe that senior is blind!"

"My senior is not blind!"

Zhang Yuxuan was silent for a while, as if he didn't want to continue this topic. He drew several circles on the stairs with his index finger and asked, "What happened after you went into the water? Did that guy surnamed He get together with you like he promised?"

Qiu Yanzhi’s eyes crinkled. He approached Zhang Yuxuan’s ear and whispered: "Our wedding is next week."

Zhang Yuxuan was stunned. He didn't respond for a long time.

Qiu Yanzhi picked his eyebrows and said with a little pride: "By the way Yu Baobao, do you think I should find someone to livestream my wedding with He Zhou? I really want to make it a spectacle that people will never forget. They’ll learn that the lap dog that stays the longest gets the treats…”

A week later.

《Same sex marriage of the century! He Zhou and Qiu Yanzhi’s wedding is live! 》The news swept through all the major entertainment platforms.

He Zhou was astonishingly good-looking in the livestream. The bullet chat marveled over his features every time he appeared on screen. The black high-collared suit served to further highlight his perfectly proportioned figure. He easily became the center of attention no matter where he was in front of the camera.

The man beside him in particular couldn’t tear his eyes away from He Zhou. The sheer joy and love radiating from his eyes were about to overflow.

However, no matter how affectionate Qiu Yanzhi's eyes were and how happy he seemed to be, the face of the handsome man beside him remained blank.

The bullet chat gradually became discordant.

"It's just an ordinary couple. Where’s this supposed ‘immortal beauty’, ah!"

"Aaaaahhhh Mr. He is so handsome I want him!!!”

“…Why does He Zhou look so reluctant to me. It’s like he’s been kidnapped."

"Um, doesn’t Qiu Yanzhi find his husband's expression the least bit odd? He’s the only one smiling like that..."

“……”

“……”

“…They way He Zhou just said ‘I do’ was so bloodthirsty."

"I’m speechless. Qiu Yanzhi forced this marriage didn’t he."

"Chairman Qiu and his wife aren’t looking too happy either.”

"Pay attention guys! They’re about to kiss!"

“…Is it okay for Qiu Yanzhi to stand on tiptoe like that."

"They’re both men. Who cares which one takes the initiative?"

"Damn! He Zhou pushed him away and stormed off!"

"Breaking news! The consequences of forced marriage!"

"Qiu Yanzhi’s chasing after him like a fool after being pushed away like that. What a bitch.”

"Huh? Why’d the screen turn black?"

"Is the livestream over?"

"Let me see! Let me see! I want to keep watching the stream! It’s so exciting!”

"Who the hell came up with the idea to livestream this crap? Only someone with a couple of screws loose would stream a forced marriage…"

……

After Qiu Yanzhi got pushed by He Zhou, he chased after him dumbly.

There was a lot of discussion among the guests.

After all, not every wedding involved so many dramatic and unexpected developments.

Qiu Yanzhi didn't seem to hear those exclamations and comments. He was completely focused on rushing out to pursue He Zhou.

Until he was held back by his mother.

Zhong Yabai trembled in anger: "Qiu Yanzhi! Why are you set on marrying someone like this?! Don’t you have any pride?!"

Qiu Yanzhi's lips were tightly pressed together.

He was really stupid. Really really stupid.

He only considered livestreaming the wedding to get back at those who called him a lap dog.

But he forgot the fact that the livestream would reveal his lap dog status to the rest of the world.

It's like riding a tricycle with a big horn into the middle of the road and shouting, "Passerbys! Don’t miss this spectacle! Come and have a peek! Come and have a look! Big juicy melons delivered right to your mouth! Guaranteed to make you belly laugh! Come see the pitiful forced marriage of the Qiu family lap dog!"

Qiu Yan's face was burning hot right now. He wanted to run away and become a hermit for the rest of his life.

But Qiu Yanzhi repeated a mantra ten times in his heart.

It’s not embarrassing. It’s not embarrassing. It’s not embarrassing.

It's all fake. Fake. Fake.

They’re all NPCs. NPCs. NPCs.

After he barely managed some semblance of calm, Qiu Yanzhi looked up at the sky at a 45 degree angle. The corner of his mouth was lifted in an arc that was two parts sad, three parts lonely and five parts painful. He gently pried open his mother's hand as he spoke in a downcast, trembling tone: “...Mom. You promised you wouldn’t interfere in the things that concern He Zhou and I anymore.”

Zhong Yabai looked at Qiu Yanzhi with resentment, her chest heaving with excitement: "Yanzhi, I can accept that you like men, but there are many men in the world. Must you choose him..."

"Mom!" Qiu Yanzhi interrupted Zhong Yabai. His voice was trembling slightly, "I only want him! I love him!"

Looking at how Zhong Yabai choked up with a heartbroken expression, Qiu Yanzhi secretly patted himself on the back.

Qiu Yanzhi actually didn't want to look for He Zhou after he went out, but he spotted the groom standing beneath the ginkgo tree after a couple of steps.

Qiu Yanzhi stood there and hesitated for a moment, but he walked over to He Zhou in the end.

One thing had to be said.

He Zhou’s face was so handsome that it should be illegal. 

Every part of his features were perfectly suited to Qiu Yanzhi’s tastes.

The more he looked at him, the happier he became.

Qiu Yanzhi secretly thought that, if He Zhou smiled at him right now, half of his anger from their disastrous ceremony could be dispelled.

But He Zhou wouldn't smile.

He Zhou would probably kill Qiu Yanzhi first.

He Zhou was still on the phone. He hadn't noticed Qiu Yanzhi's arrival yet. His eyelids drooped gently and his lips were pursed.

Qiu Yanzhi’s overactive imagination came to life again. 

He Zhou's lips were beautifully shaped, albeit on the thin side.

Qiu Yanzhi heard that it was easy to knock your teeth together when kissing with this kind of lips, but he recalled the feeling of the kiss just now-- it seemed unexpectedly soft.

Qiu Yanzhi licked his lips.

Tsk. To be honest, he kind of wanted to kiss him again.

But he didn't dare.

If he kissed him now, He Zhou might decide to beat him up.

It was a bit humiliating to walk around with a black eye, so he'd better forget it.

But he still walked step by step towards He Zhou.

He Zhou saw Qiu Yanzhi coming and hung up with a dark expression.

He put the phone back in his pocket and tried to pull something else out, but he couldn't find it.

"I have cigarettes." Qiu Yanzhi took out a carton of cigarettes and handed it to He Zhou, "I remembered that this is the brand you like, right?"

His eyes were bright and watery, like a puppy that was waiting to be praised after it had helped its master retrieve something.

Qiu Yanzhi saw that He Zhou didn't take it. He suddenly thought of something else and took out a lighter as well.

He blinked and laughed with eyes curled into crescent moons: "I also have a lighter."

He Zhou glared at Qiu Yanzhi with barely suppressed rage. He was almost gnashing his teeth as he spoke:

"Qiu Yanzhi, are you satisfied now?"

Qiu Yanzhi was startled, "...He Zhou?"

He Zhou took a step forward, the non-negligible height advantage forcing Qiu Yanzhi to retreat bit by bit. He Zhou looked down at Qiu Yanzhi with a cold face. He repeated his words:

"Qiu Yanzhi. I asked if you're satisfied now."

Qiu Yanzhi's body trembled slightly. His eyes filled with tears as even his pupils constricted lightly. Yet the corners of his mouth insisted on pulling up into an awkward smile. He was like a pathetic puppy that was desperately trying to avoid being abandoned.

"...He Zhou, I just...I just...like you… I just wanted...to be a little bit closer to you… Just a little bit..."

He Zhou suddenly reached out and tightly grasped Qiu Yanzhi's chin: "You like me?"

The force of his hand suddenly increased. For a moment, Qiu Yanzhi was terrified that his skull was about to be crushed. And then he heard the other person scoff lightly:

“...Are you worthy of me?"

Qiu Yanzhi's eyes widened and shook. Large teardrops fell down his face. His mouth opened and closed without speaking. His face was filled with pain and fear in equal measure.

It wasn't until He Zhou released the hand on his chin that he collapsed weakly to the ground like a puppet that had its strings cut. His entire body was still trembling.

He appeared absolutely wretched and pitiful at the same time.

Yet He Zhou didn't even give him a second glance. He raised his head and turned to leave.

It wasn't until He Zhou disappeared from sight completely that Qiu Yanzhi slowly stood up from the ground.

With his head hanging low, he wiped at his face. It was impossible to tell his expression at the moment.

The air around him was suddenly filled with the sound of wings beating from an undetermined distance. The layer of white mist that had inexplicably appeared slowly dispersed, and a ginger yellow ball emerged. The ball fluttered its two small wings as it glanced at the direction He Zhou left in. Then it looked at the downcast and silent Qiu Yanzhi. It asked somewhat worriedly, "...Yanzhi, are you okay?"

"Big Yellow... " Qiu Yanzhi's shaking hands clenched into fists. His voice was a little hoarse. 

Big Yellow was a little panicked: "...You...cried? Aiya... don't be sad... That's just how He Zhou is as a character. It's not like you didn't know going in. You..."

Qiu Yanzhi's voice was shaking.

"My acting skills are too awesome..."

"--Laozi is a motherfucking genius!

Translator Notes: 

(1) - 老娘 - It's like laozi except for females. A very arrogant way to refer to yourself

(2) - 宝宝 - like calling someone 'baby'. It's a cutesy nickname 

This is a teaser for a hilarious novel that I stumbled upon. Updates will be infrequent for now.

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